Paralyzed
by x-asexuality-x
Summary: AU fan fiction. Brittany has a terrible accident but meets Santana, her soulmate because of it. Is it worth giving up everything she's good at in life to meet Santana even though they already went to the same school? Brittany has some thoughts they scare her, she is scared of what she will do to other people. Mostly Brittana fluff and angst.
1. Running

**A/N: An AU fan fiction, please leave your thoughts and criticisms they really help. Thank you to my friend Brooke for proofreading this she probably won't see this as she doesn't read fan fiction and I kind of made her do it but.**

Stupidly I carried on running along the route, through the woods and across a field despite my feet killing me. I had to get back on the Cheerios; no matter what I needed to. After my accident I was so out of it. When I broke my leg it didn't feel like I'd broken my leg, it felt like I'd broken my heart, wait no shattered it. I got kicked off of the Cheerios for it and I could never forgive myself for that. I hated myself, I hated my life. Everything I ever cared about, everything I was ever good at, taken away from me and all in an instant. All because I climbed over that god damn fence, all because I wanted to sneak out when I was grounded, stupid. But that is all behind me now, I need to retrain my leg to function, to run, to jump, to let me live. My leg kills, like it is going to give way and leave me on the muddy, wet ground, stranded. My heart pounded, as if it was going to burst through my rib cage at any given moment. I kept going, ignoring all my body's warning signs, all the signs that I needed to stop immediately, I ignored them, they did NOT matter, and nothing was going to get in my way. For motivation I imagined that I was being chased, of course I never was but the mentality never let me stop. My breathing got heavy. My pulse was through the roof.

The song switched over on my iPod, Don't stop me now, the most motivational song that I knew. My judgement was gone, it was never there in fact.

As I twisted the sports cap up on the water bottle I had my grasp on I fell, face first.

Everything hurt, except from the waist down, I couldn't feel that at all, just a harsh numbness. I tried to get up but my legs wouldn't respond, my arms did but my brains signals had no effect what so ever on my legs. So I wouldn't have to lie face down in the mud I used my arms to rotate my body on to my front and taking my ear buds out of my ears to complete silence.

Waiting there was agony, waiting there for somebody to come along, waiting for hours? No phone to call for help on a seven mile cross country route that was rarely tackled and right in the middle of the route!

Suddenly my salvation appeared running round the corner, shocked look on her face. She had long, dark hair that was tied back flowing beautifully in the wind and perfect chocolate eyes.

"What happened?" She asked as she came up to me, reaching her arm out to help me up.

"I fell" I answered fairly bluntly.

"Then why didn't you get up?" She asked looking extremely confused.

"I can't, I can't feel my legs, and I've been here for hours" I stated staring in to her intoxicating eyes as if she was hypnotizing me. She removed the other ear bud that she hadn't already taken out from her ear and the wire from the jack on her phone so she could call for help which she did.

She spoke effortlessly to the 911 dispatcher, she must have been about my age, come to think of it I think I recognise her from school, I think she just transferred and joined the Cheerios. Tough this was the first time I really took any notice of her but she was truly beautiful.

The paramedics arrived in a helicopter, as an ambulance would never be able to get to where we were, they were really quick as well. They lifted me up to the helicopter in a stretcher, the girl who helped me came as well, they lifted her up in this weird harness thing, I guess she just wanted to make sure I was alright.

"So Brittany, can you not move your legs at all? Can you feel them?" the paramedic asked worriedly.

"No, I can't feel or move them at all" I truthfully replied.

"Okay then we can't determine if any paralyses is temporary or permanent until we get you to the hospital to get you checked out" the paramedic said pretty much clearing up what would happen to me though it wasn't much of a surprise "they will probably carry out an x-ray and reflex test, it's standard procedure for potential paralyses victims."

"Will she end up in a wheelchair?" The girl asked.

"It really depends on how bad the injury is, I can't give you any more information, I'm sorry about that," the paramedic said in reply.

"I never did get your name, did I?" I said directing the question at the girl.

"It's Santana."

When we got to the hospital she stayed with me, she held my hand, she wanted to ensure that I was okay. I knew I would not die, obviously I'm not just going to drop down dead at any random moment, most people would have just left me but the thought of her staying because she cared about me made me feel just that little bit more complete.

The doctor had to leave the room for five or six minutes to get a second opinion and Santana took her opportunity. Leaning down to my head as I laid on the bed she kissed me for a few brief, beautiful seconds and then removed her mouth from mine, it gave me intense butterflies. I just smiled at her action and pulled her back into a deeper kiss, the strands of my light pink lip gloss falling between our lips as we both move our lips back and forth but no tongue; it was magical, perfect even. We both pulled away before the doctor came back with the x-ray and reflex test results in his hand.

"Brittany, I'm afraid you will be paralyzed from the waist down permanently."

"And there's nothing you can do about it, nothing at all?" I asked, a tear rolling down from my eye.

"No, I'm sorry, you will be like this for the rest of your life" he replied clearly feeling sorry for me, Santana squeezed my hand tighter, obviously to comfort me. Everything I was good at was taken away from me, I mean I still had Glee club but I only joined that because Sue sent me and Quinn to spy on them so she could take them down. A few months ago I got kicked out of the Cheerios, I was the captain, the top bitch, the most popular girl in school before my incident, now I may never get those things back, and I may never get my life back. I guess now I actually have to try in lessons, learn something, and try not to get any more of them dreaded Fs.


	2. Cripple!

My parents were coming to see me in the hospital and Santana was just leaving; though before she did she took a pen off of the bedside table and a piece of paper and wrote down her number with the words call me, proceeding to kiss me on the cheek. It woke me up inside, I no longer felt dead and empty. Santana left and I felt as if I needed to go run after her, pull her back, make her stay but I couldn't, I couldn't get up and I hated that. Images of her stunning beauty burned into my eyes and eyelids, sure she had her flaws she had lots of them but they didn't matter, it was the perfections that counted and they outweighed their opposite by a colossal ratio.

My parents walked in and so I tried to get Santana out of my mind in an attempt to not be distracted but this didn't work but would it ever.

"Brittany, what happened?" My mom asked, genuinely concerned.

"I was running that seven mile cross country route that I used to run a lot before I broke my leg and I fell" I answered putting it as simply as I could.

"How some you didn't get back up then?" My dad asked stupidly, he knew what had happened, he had been told by my mother but he'd forgotten due to his low IQ.

"One of my lower vertebra shattered on a rock and I'm now paralyzed from the waist down" I put it bluntly.

"What's a vert-aw-bey?" He asked slowly saying the word and saying it wrong at that.

"It's vertebra dad and it's part of the spine."

"Well are you okay honey?" My mum queried.

"Mom, are you kidding I'm permanently paralyzed from the waist down, I can't do any of the things I love anymore: running, cheerleading" I responded and then remembering and verbalizing in a distraught tone, "dancing, the best thing of all" it broke me a bit inside, it shattered me. I just laid there in silence, refusing to talk at all. My mom was asking questions about my accident and how I was while my dad just sat there, I still refused to speak not answering the questions. The thought of not being able to dance, well it made me hate myself, it made me feel stupid. I was stupid. For god's sake I can't even do basic maths or write a paragraph in the English language but this time I really screwed up.

"Just, I need to get out of here" I stated while my mom was mid-sentence, not like I was going to ever answer what bull question she had.

"Why honey, what's wrong?" She asked, heavily concerned.

"Just please stop with all the questions, I can't handle it anymore I hate being in hospitals feels like I'm having my freedom taken away from me, just go get the nurse and ask when I can leave."

My mother left the room. A few minutes later she came back in the room with the nurse.

"Miss Pierce we can discharge you now if you'd like" the nurse said.

"Yes please."

"The doctor just needs to fill out some paperwork to officially discharge you then and I'll go and get you a wheelchair." She left the room to go and inform the doctor about fifteen minutes later she was back with a wheelchair.

"Let's just get you into this then and you can be on your way Miss Pierce." She said entering the room. The nurse helped lift me up, off the bed with my father's help and placed me in the wheelchair. The thing was just plain black, black cotton seat and back, black rubber tyres and black metal spokes. Something about the wheelchair felt very deathly to me, as if it was the beginning of the end of my life, like I had no life left to live.

I was back home and back in my room, which luckily was on the ground floor so no stairs, I grabbed the piece of paper with Santana's number on it and entered it as a contact. I texted Santana.

 **Hi it's Brittany – B**

 **Oh hey Britt ;) – S**

 **I'm guessing you're out of that hell hole – S**

 **Yeah but this wheelchair is the worst – B**

 **I can imagine – S**

 **Hey why don't I come over cheer you up – S**

 **I'd love that, or why don't we meet up, I need to get out, the park? – B**

 **Sounds great see you in 20? – S**

 **See you in 20 – B**

I continued grasping the phone in my hand before putting it in my rucksack, which I hung from the back of my wheelchair, and headed out of the front door and towards the park.

As I wheeled up to Santana she began to run and hugged me as soon as she got to me. Obviously I hugged back, I hugged her back tightly, not wanting to let go but I knew I had to. She brought her face slowly close to mine after we had pulled away from the embrace and kissed me lightly on the lips, a tingling electric charge was sent flying through every part of my body though most prominent in my lips.

"Cripple!" Somebody shouted from roughly fifty yards away. It was Puck, I guess he hated me now and it hurt, he hated everybody who wasn't popular so I guess I'm not anymore.

Unexpectedly Santana shouted back, standing up for me "hey leave her alone, what did she do to you?" Puck just rolled his eyes and walked away at this "listen anybody messes with you like that, tell me, I will go all Lima Heights on their asses." I laughed and used my arm to pull her back in for another kiss, this time deeper but not so much deeper. I think that I love her! No I AM being serious, usually when people say the word love they just throw it around, saying that they love chocolate or something like that but I mean it. I really do mean it. I need to prove it to her and thank her for helping me when I needed it the most, she quite possibly saved my life. Is Santana my soulmate? My person? Could she? I never thought that soulmates existed and people fall in love like this. It seems so storybook perfect but this isn't Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow white or any of those other fairy tales, I'm no princess. So why do I feel so perfectly in love. Santana makes me feel complete, she makes me want to carry on in this miserable, stinking world, despite only meeting her yesterday. But I don't want to be just another fairy tale, I never did, so why do I feel that this is so right, so perfect?...


	3. Ramp

It wasn't like I lived far from school, only a few blocks away and it was all level. I usually walked but obviously I couldn't so I just wheeled myself there, it was easier than getting in and out of the car. I made my way over to the one access ramp, it was steep. I couldn't get up it as hard as I tried, I guess it would take a lot of practice. I struggled, every time I got just a few feet up I would slide back down. A huge amount of people saw me and none bothered to try and help me. I tried again a few more times, by the seventh one of these tries Santana came running up to me to help me. She generously pushed me up; before turning round to face me and kiss me on the lips slowly and sweetly.

"You didn't have to" I claimed despite the fact that I desperately needed the help she gave me.

"Yes I did" she stated in reply continuing to push me as someone shouted lesbians, as she laughed "that's what I like to call lesba-heckling." I smiled up at her turning my head, partly at what she'd said but mostly at her voice, it made me feel at ease and happy.

Santana wheeled me over to my locker which happened to be almost right next to her's. Both of our lockers were higher up and I couldn't reach mine to get out my books. She helped me; Santana helped me.

"What's you combination?" She asked holding the red metallic combination lock in her hand.

"0736" I said as she began to enter the code "thanks, it means a lot."

"Hey I really care about you, I know it sounds terribly cheesy" she uttered under her breath almost, only just loud enough to hear.

We had English together and we both grabbed our textbooks from our lockers and placed them on my lifeless legs before Santana pushed me.

Seven or eight minutes into the class, with Santana sitting next to me I got bored. It's like when am I going to need to know what juxtaposition is in my life? I ripped a piece of paper out of my note book writing on it "come to glee club today" in pink gel pen, I passed it to Santana. She nodded and gripped her hand round mine.

"I would play footsy but…" she whispered into my ear, it made me laugh.

Santana came to glee club. She auditioned with the song Songbird, it was beautiful, and the room was silenced.

"Wow Santana, that was amazing" Mr Shue said as Santana smiled and sat down next to me. The entire glee club applauded her.

"I have a song to sing too" I stated as I wheeled myself down to the centre of the choir room. I pushed my fingers through my hair as the piano started to play the melody of Titanium and I started singing.

"You shout it out,

But I can't hear a word you say

I'm talking loud, not saying much

I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet

You shoot me down, but I get up.

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose

Fire away, fire away

Ricochet, you take your aim

Fire away, fire away

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium.

Cut me down

But it's you who'll have further to fall

Ghost town and haunted love

Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones

I'm talking loud not saying much.

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose

Fire away, fire away

Ricochet, you take your aim

Fire away, fire away

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

I am titanium

I am titanium.

Stone-heart, machine gun

Firing at the ones who run

Stone heart loves bulletproof glass

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

I am titanium."

The room was silenced once again before the rush of applause. My heart filled with joy, the song explained perfectly how I felt. I'd been knocked down (quite literally), had things taken from me that meant everything but I got back up, like I'd never fallen. I wheeled myself back over and Santana smiled at me before hugging me. I'd always loved that song and it held a special place in my heart but know I finally understood what it meant, I had never being bullied or felt low so I hadn't experienced much hurt in my life. Always being the popular, skinny and blonde girl all your life means you are always treated like a princess. It was the first time that I had really been hurt mentally, emotionally. And trust me it hurt; it hurt more than anything.

 **A/N: Shorter than my other chapters on this story I know. Obviously the song is Titanium all rights for that part go to the copy write owners. No copy write infringement intended, I make no profit off of it.**


	4. Make out session

Santana was sat on my bed "if you were still on the cheerios I probably would have never talked to you."

"Why would you have never talked to me?" I asked actually carrying about the answer and where the conversation was going, though if it was anybody else I probably wouldn't have given it one thought.

"Because I hate cheerleaders," she replied shocking me,I think it shocked her, I don't think she ever intended for those words to leave her mouth in the first place but they did.

"But you are one" I pointed out the obvious.

"I know," she began, "I was always picked on, it was the popular girls, I guess I was an easy target. Anyway but freshman year they were all cheerleaders, hence why I hate cheerleaders. They bullied me to the point were I had to move school, the kids at that school soon picked up what had happened so I had to move state. And they all bullied me for one thing my sexuality, apparently it was wrong and most of that was from popular kids. But before they picked up on my sexuality they bullied me for other things, that's just when things got bad. Don't tell anyone, please."

"I'm great at keeping secrets" I claimed, Santana smiled at this, her deep, brown eyes lighting up.

I leaned in to kiss Santana, moving her long locks of silky black hair out of the way with my fingers, brushing it. ㈃9㈏5 My heart rapidly pounded, like it was going to explode like a heart attack which of course you get from loving top much. I write a paper on that once, got knocked down an entire letter grade for being written in crayon though pink creations and gel pens are the best and anybody who does not think so is clearly insane. I pulled away, stands of saliva having between our lips which broke momentarily. I craved more for some reason, the sexual attraction grew deeper. I was not quite sure how sex with me would work, would I top or bottom. On top I would but be able to move around properly but bottoming I may not be able to feel it, ugh.

"Who thought making out with a girl in a wheel chair would be so god damn sexy?" Santana asked.㈆8

"Wait," I started, "you think that I'm sexy? Me? You have got the right person? You're not blind right?"

"Of course you're sexy, your sexy as hell Britt!" I wasn't expecting this response from her.

"Seriously? I'm about as sexy as a stuffed bear toy" I continued the conversation.㈅9 ㈴5 "Hey you know that bullying thing is that lesba-heckling?"

"Yeah Britt I guess it is" she laughed, leaning in to kiss ㈍9 some more. Her hands pushed against my shoulders, pushing back what parts of my body I still have control of, back into the black cotton seat. It turned me on, it turned me on so much.㈴5 Her hands made her way up from my chest and yup to my face, her fingertips latching on behind my ears, her thumbs in front, just hovering above my ear canal. Santana then put her hands on my upper thighs, even though I couldn't feel it it still felt amazing and magical.ㇱ2㇧2✨⭐❇㈎2 I can't control my butterflies, the ones in my stomach.

I pick up my phone and plug it into my speakers. The song I kissed a girl started blasting out of the speakers, vibrating violently. ㇸ6 ㈘1ㇸ5ㇹ2 We them continued making out while Santana lifted me onto my bed with pink, blue and green duvet, placing me on my back and sitting on top of me. Her tongue ㈆9 tasted of mint while mine tasted of candyfloss, the mixed taste was weird, but I guess that the tastes reflected our personalities. Mine sweet ㇱ2 and innocent while Santana's was sharp and edgy.

Suddenly Santana broke from the kiss ㈍9 "you will definitely keep my secret won't you?"

"Always and forever," I responded, brushing my fingers through her long, dark hair of which she had taken out of her high ponytail earlier to reveal her thick, bushy hair "I should start calling you bog brush."

Santana just laughed and leaned back in to kiss ㈍9 further, tongues this time. I licked the roof of her mouth ㈆8 and she gasped in pleasure.

 **A/N: So I wrote this on my phone so might be a bit dodgy, pretty short I know but I put emojis in to make up for it don't know if they'll show up though. I might start a new fan fiction a glee and Simpsons crossover where Ralph and Brittany are secretly brother and sister, tell me what you think about that.**


	5. Voices

Cutting my nails with the clippers I made little teeth out of the teeth; this way when I scratch people it will hurt a fair bit more and if I am lucky enough it might even make a small incision in their skin. I only did this on my left hand though, leaving my right for, you know 3. I placed the miniature scissors on my desk and picked up the pastel blue nail varnish. After I twisted the cap off the small container I dipped the brush in and out a few times before starting to paint my right thumb, attempting to not smudge it or get the varnish over my skin, an impossible task pretty much. Finishing the application I placed the bottle back on the desk and looked at my reflection in the mirror, my face was pale, making my pastel pink lips pop and my wild blueish green eyes sparkle. My subtly tangled blonde hair thrown back into a high pony, the kind I wore for Cheerios, the kind I so desperately missed. Everything, every thought seemed to take me back to not being a cheerleader anymore, not being popular; it sucked, the constant reminders all around me. I still had my singing though, I might not be the biggest voice in Glee club but at least now I have a reason to be there, not just Sue's lab rat, I mean that's the reason me and Quinn joined in the first place, Sue made us but I began to like it. Quinn quit after a few months, she got pregnant, bitter and a complete bitch; I still talk to her sometimes though and she is still my best friend, I don't resent her just Puck you know for getting her pregnant, making her bitter. At least now I might get a few pity solos, now it is the only thing I have got going for me.

My nails had dried and I took my hands and tightened my high pony, flicking all the blonde baby hairs out of the way. I wheeled myself out of the house then, it was raining, I did not care, I did not know where I was going and I still did not care. I just kind of you know needed to feel something to know I was still alive.

Slowly I wheeled myself up the gradient and on to the bridge at the park so I could look over it and on to the stream that trickled peacefully below. I loved that it was underestimated, it seemed innocent and gentle but in reality it could become a violent current at any time, capable of killing, no not killing murder. It must be strange to find out someone so innocent and harmless like me could think that but you would be surprised about the things that I think about. I hear voices sometimes! The voices tell me to do things, sinister, horrifying things. The voices are deep and whisper things like "stab, stab!" Yeah they scare me sometimes too but eventually I got used to them, learned to cope with them and then they merged with my thoughts, mimicking my thinking voice so I couldn't tell my thoughts from the voices. Every now and again I want to obey the voices but another part of my brain stops me, I am extremely scared for when the day comes when that voice of reason leaves me, and I know it will happen, what will I do? Who will I hurt? Who will I kill? Those questions swim through my mind on a daily basis. The voices come when I am angry most of the time, when I am around people me or the voices do not like. So basically the only person the voices do not aggravate is Santana, maybe she is my cure, my salvation. I pretty sure I could never hurt Santana I love her, she is the only person on this lousy earth I actually care for, the voices would never tell me to hurt her right?

 **A/N: Ohh, plot twist tell me what you think about that. And thank you to everyone that has reviewed your comments help a lot.**


	6. Secret sharing

**A/N: Just wanted to quickly clear a few things up. I know some people did not like the plot twist that is fine I just love my drama and I do not really plan these things out too far in advance I have no idea where this is going. I do not really think that Brittany is too bothered by it though I think that she is more bothered about her paralysation she is just bothered about the consequences.**

Secrets are not something that should exist in any good relationship even the ones you say to protect the other person and so I need to tell her! I need to tell Santana about my voices.

"I need to tell you something" I begin, "you opened up to me and so I need to do the same for you."

"What, what do you want to tell me?" She asks.

"Don't get scared and run, the last thing I want to do is hurt you" I continue.

"What are you trying to say? Do you not like me?" Santana starts to query, worriedly.

"No of course I like you," I confirm in a soft soothing voice.

"Then what is it?" Santana whispers, barely loud enough for me to hear.

"The voices" I say, "they talk to me."

"What do they say?" She begins to question.

"They tell me to do stuff" I start "they tell me to hurt people," All Santana does in response is let her jaw drop slightly; "and you are the first person they haven't told me to hurt in a long time."

"Oh Britt," she says bringing herself forward to embrace me "I don't care."

"Really?" I ask unsure.

"Yeah," Santana lets the words escape, not really thinking about what she is saying just saying it as she thinks it "I love you and I don't care, they don't make you a bad person, they don't consume you, they don't make you who you are."

"Did you just say you love me?" I respond, she just nods and brings me from the embrace and kisses me softly on the lips; hormones going crazy. "So you don't care about me being insane?"

Santana shakes her head "everybody has their past, everybody has their story and everybody has their vulnerabilities and if you hadn't have told me I would have been fine with that as well. I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't care about your weaknesses, I care about you."


	7. Silence

**A/N: Merry Christmas everyone!**

Santana's POV.

As soon as I get out of Brittany's house I bring my phone out of my pocket and search for what to do. The site I click on has a YouTube video and I watch it. The man in the video says his problem started when he was fourteen or fifteen, he saw a doctor who diagnosed him with some sort of schizophrenia he was hospitalised. I had no idea it could be so bad. Parents would not let their kids be friends with him. I really did not want that to happen to Brittany. But the site also said that hearing voices is a common thing, which put me at ease a bit more. When I said that I did not care I meant that I did not care in a way that I wouldn't hurt her and use it against her of course I care that this could be driving her insane, I did not think it could be so bad. The site said is they were unpleasant or disturbing to see a doctor, this was Brittany.

I turned back and knocked on her front door, a few minutes later she answered it.

"Tell me you will go and see a doctor" I started and Brittany just nodded "no go and see a doctor, I care about you. And what do the voices tell you to do exactly?"

"Like go smash someone's face in with a brick or everybody wants to hurt you so protect yourself." She answers.

"Did they get worse?" I ask.

"Worse when?"

"Did they get worse when your accident happened?"

"They did" she says after a few minutes of silence.

"Book an appointment and I will come with you" I say.

"I'll see you later than" Brittany says closing the door, smiling. Thoughts rush through my brain, like what if her parents passed it by? Or what if they used it against her? What if she got bullied for it and it made it worse? They all intensely worried me.


End file.
